Feature on charity Star Support which helps victims of domestic violence. Pictured is case-study 'Sarah'. 15/10/14
Victim of horrific abuse speaks out of torture at hands of evil husband, who subjected her to 18 years of physical and mental torment
The woman, who does not want to be named, suffered 18 years of torture at his hands and was repeatedly attacked, raped and bullied.
Unable to choose her own clothes, drive or use a cashpoint, she became a prisoner in her own home and endured beatings on a daily basis.
The monster:
* Broke both of her wrists,
* Broke her arm in two different places
* Broke her jaw when she was holding their three week-old baby and wouldn’t let her go to hospital until eight days later
* Burst a vein in her nose which had to be sealed
* Smashed a cup in her face
* Stabbed her in the arm
* Hit her with baseball bats, dog choker chains, iron fire pokers, sweeping brushes and rolling pins to “save his hands from hurting.”
The North Wales woman, now aged 35 decided to speak out after wife-beater, Sylvan Maurice Parry, 46 was given a life sentence for the attempted murder of his partner, Fiona who he tried to kill as she walked their children to school in Caernarfon .
Her own harrowing ordeal, that reads like a horror story, is reflected in a 120-page police statement which led to her husband being thrown behind bars for nine years.
Only now is she able to start piecing her life back together and warn others about the signs of domestic abuse.
“I met my husband in 1995 when I was 16,” she said.
“I was swept off my feet with flowers, gifts, letters, poems and kind words.
“Within only a few weeks we had moved in together and a little while later, we were engaged and expecting a baby.
“After moving in it was obvious he was heavily into drugs, and soon afterwards he became violent.
“It began with calling me names and the odd slap or punch, but soon escalated to using various weapons.
“He cut me off from my friends and family and we lived in isolated properties, I didn’t speak to anyone, I didn’t go out. I wasn’t allowed to learn how to drive.
“I was only 16, and this was my first serious relationship. I didn’t know that what was happening wasn’t normal.”
'He would cry, buy flowers ... but do it all again'
The woman said arguments would “flare up” over things like the housework not being done, or his eggs not being cooked properly.
After each violent episode, he would become remorseful, cry, buy flowers and promise it would not happen again - but it did.
Manipulative and controlling, he found ways to make her feel like it was her fault and when he smashed a cup in her face, he’d say “look what you’ve done now.”
READ: Watch Fiona Parry promise to stay strong after husband Sylvan is jailed for trying to kill her
“I was trying to protect my children and I thought, if he’s doing this to me, he’s sparing them, I was blind to the emotional impact it had on them,” she said.
“I was constantly walking on eggshells, each day waking up just to simply try and survive without a beating. This was my routine for 18 years but as time progressed, I started to wonder how I was going to get out.”
The catalogue of abuse she suffered included being handcuffed to a bunk bed while her husband took a hammer to her feet and toes to make sure she couldn’t leave the house or make any calls while he was out.
She was locked in a cellar and was rarely allowed to go to hospital to seek treatment for her horrific injuries.
He even became aggressive when she was in labour to because she wasn’t giving birth to their baby fast enough.
'Midwife expected to read about my murder one day'
But his controlling behaviour caught the attention of midwives, one of whom kept a file in her office if ever it was needed in a court scenario.
“She kept my folder because she thought she would read about my murder one day,” the woman said.
“That report was used in evidence during the court case 10 years later.”
Despite concerns from professionals, the family were not formally known to social services until 2012 - the year her husband was finally arrested.
“Someone could’ve helped me along the way, but I can’t chastise them (professionals) too much because without me coming forward, their hands are tied.
“I very rarely went to hospital for treatment for my injuries to avoid suspicion and the first time he broke my arm with a baseball bat, I gave a completely different name and address.”
In 2010, the mum called the police after another volatile episode, but regretted it straight away.
But it was the first time in 16 years she’d taken steps to put an end to the violence however, it escalated because she was getting braver and starting to stand up for herself.
It wasn’t until 2012 that she finally decided enough was enough.
“The turning point for me came when he threatened to harm the children.
“In my mind, I had stayed to protect them but I was starting to see how what they were witnessing was having an affect on them and I will be guilt-ridden for that forever.
“Around this time, I had regained contact with my brother and I told him everything, it only hit home when he said: ‘Sis, you’ve been tortured.’
“Looking back, I realised how he had managed to change me in a matter of months, he completely stripped me bare.
“I honestly don’t know how I’m alive.”
After he was jailed, the woman had to rebuild her independence and didn’t even know how to use a cash machine, what music she enjoyed or what clothes she liked to wear.
Now, she gives speeches to police, probationers, social services and victim support, and has ambitions of becoming a PCSO.
'I had no identity ... now I feel like I'm getting it back'
“I had no identity and now I feel like I’m trying to get back to what I was when I was 16.
“I’ve lost 20 years of my life - I was alive but I wasn’t living, I was encapsulated in a frozen bubble.
“It’s hard to transition back into society when you’ve been cut off from it for such a long time.
“My little brother was three when I left home, he’s now 21 - I don’t know who he is. My nan also died and I’m still dealing with that now.
“I’m also going through Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because it’s starting to hit me what I went through. I’ve lost the best years of my life, I can’t ever get them back.
“But I have to keep thinking positive and put the past behind me. I am thankful that I now have a future, freedom and safety, something I never have before.
“At the end of the day, he’s going to get out at some point but he can’t control me any more.
“I refuse to live my life looking over my shoulder.
“If my story helps one other victim of domestic abuse get out, then I haven’t suffered in vain.”
* The 24-hour Wales Domestic Abuse helpline can be contacted on 0808 80 10 800.
see-http://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/north-wales-domestic-violence-victim-11128528
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